I can't even begin to describe what's been going through my mind and weighing on my heart these past few months. I've had times of complete happiness, so blessed by friends. Then dropped to times when I felt so alone, even living under the same roof as 2 of my closest girlfriends. Mixed with days so inspired by everything around me...dreaming of big plans to change the world, to go overseas, become a missionary. Then again, there were days when I just felt so dry, like there was nothing left I wanted to give...no motivation, no desire. It sure has been a roller coaster. And all I want is for the ride to be over when I can walk on my steady feet again.
There are so many things I want to do, but I get completely overwhelmed when I even attempt to trace it out. To the point where I give up, self-defeat, before it even begins.
Mm...which reminds me to think about Jeremiah 29:11. It's a good thing that we can only see ahead of us, one tiny step at a time. Even the movies think so (look up/watch Paycheck). We can't handle being in control of the future.
So what do I do? Pray pray pray. And if you find yourself with some extra time, twiddling your thumbs, not knowing what to do. Please pray for me as well to get my future figured out. To be where God wants me.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Introduction
Purposeful Wanderings:
Someone very wise has also used this phrase, "Purposeful Wanderings," but I can't exactly remember who. But this is where I find myself. At least it's where I want to be heading. I used to xanga, but I feel like I've moved into another stage in my life since then. A lot has changed from the time inbetween those thoughts and now...and I don't have much of release to deal with my life now. So here's my attempt. :) I hope that this blog will be purposeful, every word and every non-word. For you and for me.
Ocean Floor:
Audio Adrenaline, heard the song? I saw them perform at a conference at a time when I thought Christianity was confined within guitar and piano worship songs and hymns in church and that rock music was almost the furthest you could get from worshipping God. But I heard this song...and I've remembered it since.
Your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom
Of the ocean floor
But I've themed my blog this because I feel like I've reached a point where I'm ready to forgive myself for all the mistakes I've made in the past. Moving forward. Onward.
From here on out.
It's going to be good.
Savior, make me strong.
Someone very wise has also used this phrase, "Purposeful Wanderings," but I can't exactly remember who. But this is where I find myself. At least it's where I want to be heading. I used to xanga, but I feel like I've moved into another stage in my life since then. A lot has changed from the time inbetween those thoughts and now...and I don't have much of release to deal with my life now. So here's my attempt. :) I hope that this blog will be purposeful, every word and every non-word. For you and for me.
Ocean Floor:
Audio Adrenaline, heard the song? I saw them perform at a conference at a time when I thought Christianity was confined within guitar and piano worship songs and hymns in church and that rock music was almost the furthest you could get from worshipping God. But I heard this song...and I've remembered it since.
Your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom
Of the ocean floor
But I've themed my blog this because I feel like I've reached a point where I'm ready to forgive myself for all the mistakes I've made in the past. Moving forward. Onward.
From here on out.
It's going to be good.
Savior, make me strong.
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